A hairy experience

Of course, such a serious blog needs to be chased with a bit of lighter fare...

Much like the 7 Holy Sacrements of the Catholic Church ( Baptism, Confirmation, the Eucharist, Penance, the Anointing of the Sick, Holy Orders and Matrimony- for my non Catholic friends or those who, like me, slept through most of Sunday school) - anyway, much like the 7 sacrements, there are certain rituals that all males must sucessfully navigate to be granted full access into the wonderful world of "manlihood." Important "manly" customs such as learning to pee standing up, having your voice break in front of the girl you like, discovering the wonder of all the different bodily sounds - these must be achieved if one wants to evolve from a boy to a man.

Here in Guatemala, I have chosen to undertake yet another of these sacred quests - about the 4th or 5th Sacrement - the sacrement of growing facial hair.

True, it started as a touch of laziness. With no available razor (thank you TSA) and little knowledge of the correct word in spanish, it was only a matter of time before things started to get a bit scruffy - see photo 1

After expanding my vocab and knowledge of SJS - I finally purchased a razor. However, that morning, as I trying out the different types of "manditory shaving cream beards", I paused at my white goatee, thinking to myself "hey, that's not bad". Then, the next step...shaving everything but the goatee and taking a moment, still in the bathroom, of course, to survey the scene. Sure, it had only been a week, which for me signals the mere beginning of facial hair - but, I thought to myself - what the heck - foreign country, blurry photos, who's to know the difference.

And so, I stepped out of the bathroom, with basically what looked like a bit of dirt on my lip and possibly some on my chin. And so began my journey

Time passed by - hair continued to grow - sparsly, irregularly, but grow nonetheless. Soon the little smudge of dirt turned into a larger smudge and, before you knew it, one month later, people began noticing I had facial hair.

Then, one month later, the first trial, the meeting with the girlfriend. We had planned to meet in Miami for a weekend - a quick encounter for a momentary return to reality. She, of course, had heard about my attempt, she had even seen grainy pictures via Skype, but this was different, this was real life. This was a huge test - anyone can grow scraggly scruff - however, when the girlfriend admits it looks good, you have completed your quest for true facial hair. What would she say?? What would be her reaction??

The picture pretty much sums it up. I believed it was phraised something like this "Yikes! - I mean, it could have potential, if you kept growing..." And so, my quest continued, as the decision was made to come to my full facial hair potential before making permanent judgements.

And so, time continued - taking call, working in puestos, going out in Guatemala. Another month passed. During that time I became used to having soup and other liquids drip from my upper lip. I tried to stregthen the hair, systematically pulling on different parts to "toughen up the roots" - of course, this just left a few more bald spaces, making things even more awkward.

Then the second test - Costa Rica. Another chance to impress the girlfriend. This time, she would have 5 days with the facial hair - a decision would have to be made...

And the decision..."I am kind of getting used to it, it doesnt bother me as much..." SUCESS!!! Yes! Partial acceptance of facial hair! This was a huge moment, much like the Game 6 of the Sox v Yankees ACLS Championship in 2004, for the first time, I thought, I had a chance. Of course, with this renewed enthusiasm, I couldn't stop my quest. No, I needed to push on for the ultimate test - presenting to the Family.

Another month passed. I finished in SJS and began working in Santiago Atitlan. The facial hair was excepted with less pointing and suggestions to "wash my face". Time continued to pass on.

The holidays approached, and with it my imminent return to Boston, to Judy, to my family and to hers. This was the culmination - 3 month of unrestricted facial hair growth, eventual partial acceptance from the girlfriend - I was ready to unveil this upgraded, more manly self to the family. I arrived home late on the 19th - picked up by the girlfriend. I passed the time in silent reflection and meditation. Then next day, we drove to my parents house early in the morning. I got out of the car, walked in the door and...

There are few words to describe the love between such a close family as we are. Really, we have such as bond that there is almost no need for the subtletly of politeness or - well - subtletly. Yes, as you can imagine, from the moment in the door, the harrassment started. And, in fact, did not stop until I had, once again, been cleanly shaven.

And so, like the search for the holy grail, my quest had ultimately failed. However, it is about the journey, not the destination, right? Throughout my 3 months of facial hair, I learned much about myself and about the world - primarily that it will take me another 5-6 years and or testosterone injections to finally connect the upper and lower parts of my goatee - but also about life, responsibility, and acceptance of those who are different. Those are the lessions I will take with me, that, and, of course, if I ever do try to grow facial hair again, I will have to wait for the moustache to come back into style - that seems to be the only thing that I can grow.